Amy is an 18-year old girl who is friends with Betty and Cindy. One day when Amy was studying with Betty, Betty came across a question that she could not solve and turned to Amy for help. Amy did not know the answer as well, hence she jokingly mentioned that they should ask Cindy, since Cindy is a "mugger*".
The next day, Amy went to school and found Cindy ignoring her. Amy tried to ask Betty about Cindy's sudden change in attitude, only to be faced with a similar cold attitude from Betty as well. Later on, she heard from her classmates that Cindy was angry with Amy because Betty had told her that Amy was mocking her for being studious.
A few weeks later, Cindy eventually confronted Amy. Amy thought that Betty should join them as they clarify things, but both Betty and Cindy refused. Both of them felt that this is an affair that involves only Amy and Cindy. During the confrontation, despite Amy telling Cindy what she had said exactly, Cindy was reluctant to believe Amy's words. At the end of the day, Amy's relationship with Betty and Cindy remains estranged.
Looking at this situation, we go back to the question and ask ourselves:
- After the damage was done, what could Amy do to salvage the friendship?
- How could Amy have avoided the unfortunate incident?
*mugger (noun) - a commonly used term in Singapore to describe someone as a person who studies very very hard.
3 comments:
1. I believe Amy could have explored other options such as writing a letter or dropping them a SMS since both Cindy and Betty were reluctant to resolve this issue. In this case, a letter will be more appropriate as it shows Amy's sincerity to resolve this issue. In the letter, she can explained how she was only joking and how there might be some misunderstanding going on. Perhaps she can also apologise to Cindy for calling her a mugger and seek her understanding and forgiveness.
2. Amy could have avoided this incident by being more sensitive to what she says to Cindy especially if it seems that Cindy is a "back-stabber". She should be "slower to speak" rather than saying anything that comes to her mind.
I agree with Yew Tong that sending a letter will be an appropriate approach to resolve the issue. Since a face-to-face explanation would probably bring out more conflict, a letter would be a more sincere approach. Cindy would also finish reading the entire letter before consolidating her feelings and thoughts, thus seeing a more complete answer and less of lashings at each other face-to-face.
As friends, the 3 girls would know each other's character and it is unlikely to take such labeling jokes too seriously. However on Amy's part she could have simply not add that "Cindy is a mugger" statement. On Cindy's part, she could see it more of a complement, if studying is what she is good at.
Like John and Yew Tong I would suggest that Amy writes a letter to Cindy apologising for the comment she made and regretting the loss of Cindy as a friend. Since the talk with Cindy could not change the situation I fell that a letter shows that Amy really cares for her friend and is commited to fix the problem.
Besides approaching Cindy I fell that it is also important to talk to Betty.After all it was her who deliberately chose to tell Cindy and therefore to risk the girls' friendship. You do not expect such behaviour from a good friend. Therefore Amy should talk to Betty expressing her disappointment and asking for the reason for Betty's behaviour.
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